Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Alex Damiano

    As high school students, it is easy to get caught in a haze of a budding relationship. We get taught about human anatomy, what sequence of events started the Revolutionary War, and how to annotate a good book, but it’s not like there is a high school class that teaches you how to be a good boyfriend or girlfriend.  So now through trial and error, there are many high school students who hold a string of toxic relationships under their belts. 

    Through obscure romance novels and romantic comedies it’s embedded in teenagers’ heads that these irrational kinds of love are what they want.  You know the ones, where being over protective, having a lack of trust for one another, and objectifying each other is somehow found … endearing? 

    So many people enter relationships with the sole idea of love, which should not be the reason to start and stay in a relationship, and lack respect and trust. With the idea of just love in mind it can cloud your judgment and become blind to the important signs. It is easy to become a doormat in a relationship if you start to tolerate unacceptable acts such as lying, cheating, and a cold distance between the pair. 

    Toxic relationships take on many forms. What many people might find normal can actually be destructive. Below are some common signs you may see in an unstable relationship. 

    A very common trait is confusing jealousy for love. Getting angry at your partner for talking, touching, or hanging out with another person that could be seen as a threat could lead to pent up aggression being taken out on your partner in hopes they will stop their behavior. With this it can lead to your partners hacking into your phone to go through call logs and texts, while they’re busy or not in the room. This is toxic because it does not express love, but it shows a lack of trust that is within the relationship, it is also manipulative and controlling. Rather than demeaning your partner by implying they can’t control their impulses, you should completely trust them. Jealousy is a normal trait, but excessive jealousy can turn into unnecessary drama. 

    Another toxic sign is buying your partner gifts to make up for a strain in the relationship. When there is a major disagreement or challenge to be faced in a relationship, rather than talking it out your partner buys you something nice or takes you out for a nice night out. When covering up an issue with superficial commodities, it only brushes off the important things at hand. Allowing this to occur leads to your partner not being accountable for the problems in the relationship and another person being unnecessarily bitter and unheard. A way to restore the feelings that were pushed under the rug, is to communicate. Gifts are considered luxuries and are only mainly received a few times a year for a reason, things should be stable before you get them. 

    If you believe you are in a toxic relationship, you should trust your instincts and live the way you feel you deserve.